What I've Learned From Filming Like A Boss

My intention was to blog throughout the season of Like a Boss. I even went so far as to mention that I would in the social media post relating to my first blog about filming the show being nothing like what I expected. However, as the season progressed I found it was a challenge for me to re-live a part of my life that was filmed 8-10 months ago. As it played out on TV, I didn’t feel as inclined to explore it via the blog as I initially thought I would.

It wasn’t my dream as a 21 year old college graduate to become the business leader I am today. At that time of my life, I saw myself as more likely the follower to someone else’s leader. I wanted a husband and family where I saw myself as the primary caretaker. Today, my life has turned out to be very different from that which I imagined 12 years ago. I’m not saying where I’m at isn’t fantastic as it most certainly is. I’m saying that I didn’t expect it so I was not prepared to be in a position where others would seek to use and take advantage of me. When speaking with potential team members, one thing I’ve learned over time is to listen to why people want to join my group. I’ve often heard that they seek to gain something from me while never mentioning or taking into account what they can provide back to me and the group. It’s an interdependent dynamic that is give and take, or at least it should be.

Never in my life have I felt so disrespected as I did by my assistant on Like a Boss. It was an incredibly challenging experience as I sought to help him with only the best of intentions and instead of receiving thanks I was consistently met with volatility and hostility verbalized through name calling and also yelling at me. There were times I broke down and cried because I didn’t know what to do, one of which was brought on by a scene that will be shown in the finale episode tonight. I felt somewhat trapped. I hired this person that seemed credible, intelligent and to have at least some kind of work ethic, gave him the tools such as paying for him to obtain his real estate license, encouraging, coaching and mentoring him in all ways I could along the way and yet when I expected him to work, from the bottom up, to earn his way I received volatile anger and frustration in return. I didn’t hand him a ready made business without having to work for any of it which is what he expected.

As I sought to hold my assistant accountable for actions such as using my American Express three times without my permission, I was met with excuses, distractions and absolute delusions. Two primary rules in my group: don’t lie to me and hold yourself accountable.

In the end, all of my assistants saw the filming process play out and this experience, I realized, would either enrich or enslave me. Choosing to reflect back and attempt to make the best of what I had been through, I sought advice and guidance. I ended up questioning who I could trust, if anyone, and one friend told me over Thanksgiving break last year that I needed to hit the reset button on my entire office staff.

It was an epiphany. I had been telling my friend about my experiences with my team members, beyond just Devin, and he helped me realize a consistent theme of disrespect. My approach in the office has been a live and let live, manage yourself how you see fit so you can work best. We work together to determine the goal and you set the path to get there. I’m here to advise, guide and even make you special lunches, reward you with bonuses and incentives when you do well and, in one case, I paid for team members wedding. What my friend helped me realize is that I had an office staff that didn’t, on a base level, respect me. He went on… There are givers and takers in life and you have an office full of takers. You’re the giver that keeps doling it all out. You give out leads, they don’t say thank you even when they’re making thousands of dollars from your lead. You make them a full Thanksgiving dinner and there’s no thank you. You give and they take. It’s the dynamic that exists and the only way to reset it is to reset your entire office. So that’s what I did.

Mostly through natural attrition, which I much prefer over firing people, over the coming months the reset occurred. I knew that most in office staff would be leaving my group for different personal and professional reasons in the next 2-3 months. So, I made plans to bring in someone new as my office manager in 2016 and retain my out of office team members which I wasn’t experiencing the same problems with. Then there would be a need to hire on new staff to assist my newly positioned manager.

Honestly, I wouldn’t want to re-live the filming of Like a Boss season 1 no matter how much money you paid me, but from the greatest challenges in life come the greatest lessons. If I hadn’t been through the storm, I wouldn’t be able to see the sunshine. Today, I’m surrounded by my sunshine - a group of exceptional individuals where we all work together synergistically towards a common goal of serving our customers to the best of our ability. They’re thankful, sometimes verbally, other times in social media posts where they hash tag (#TeamBlair) or even occasionally a card from them to me. To know that I’ve inspired, influenced and helped others is more important to me than anything else. To receive gratitude for it, fulfills me in a way nothing else does.

What was the most important take away from this filming experience? I’ve learned that I DESERVE RESPECT. Sound funny to you? Probably so. If you’re reading this, you likely assume that I command respect. I’ll take you back to my initial points here in this blog post… I didn’t expect to be the #1 agent in this region for half of the years I’ve been licensed and, in fact, I was told by more than one person that they didn’t think I would even last in the business here. At that time, it wasn’t my intention or even a need to be the entrepreneur I am today. I never thought about being in a position where people would seek to use or take advantage of me for financial, business or other gain. I also do my best to remain humble exhibiting an earned confidence. Never cocky or know it all. So, it’s been new territory that I’ve navigated learning how best to respond to others who come to me to be a part of the team for various reasons. I’m able to better develop a sense of who they are, what they want and how they plan to get it. Those that have earnest intentions provide me with respect. And I deserve it.

I’m not saying I’m the Pope, bow down and kiss my ring. But I am saying that I have built a business empire unlike anything else in this region that no one else has come close to developing. You may not like me, you may not agree with me, but you should respect me. For someone to come to me and EXPECT to be my business partner that just earned their license is not only delusional, it’s disrespectful. Of the 7.5 years I worked all on my own without even so much as one assistant. Of the 18-20 hour days I’ve put in year after year. Of the ups, downs and all arounds I’ve weathered coming through them all to emerge stronger and better. The person coming to me expecting to be my business partner that has no concept of all this and clearly no value of what it means and what it is, I am disappointed and I am sad. I entered this process of filming with the best of intentions, hoping to forge hope, faith and success in someone willing to work from the bottom up just as I did creating character in the process that will help at every step of his life. What I ended up working with was quite different. I can do all I can to help others, but in the end they must help themselves. I can’t do it for the person.

RESPECT. Such a simple word yet it’s something that has come to mean so much to me. I feel respect, gratitude and care from my office staff and overall team members and I am SO thankful for that and respectful of them for being a part of this business I’ve devoted my life to building and maintaining. I find myself so very blessed to have these people in my daily life… Antonio, Shari, Jamie, Brigitte and Sharon.

Life isn’t about awards, money or material things. They can make life more fun, secure and comfortable, but they should never define you or your goals. Life is about learning and growing, helping each other along the way as we grow together and individually. Our personal and professional relationships should be built around an interdependent dynamic where there is give and take. Not just one or the other. What did I learn that is the most important take away? As I said above, I deserve respect.

I hope each of you enjoyed Like a Boss and took something (or many things) away from the time you invested in watching the show. Beyond laughs, smiles or pure entertainment, I hope that you feel inspired and empowered. I know many of you do because I’ve heard from you. J I’ll leave you with a note from someone that contacted me by email, first expressing frustration with passing the real estate licensing exam. There were many messages exchanged, I will share the first and last (with her permission granted of course). I teared up at the last sentence of her email update. What do I love most? That she refers to herself as a diva! Love to you all, B J

First message:

Hi Blair,

I am very impressed with your success. I am a 67 year old woman that retired from the bank last year and following my dream into a real estate career. I know that you super busy but hopefully you will find a minute to contact me. I saw your show Like A Boss and just love, love the show. I so wish I lived in Georgia and were your assistant. It would be a privilege to learn from you. I want this real estate in the worst way, I took the class last year passed the national and failed the state 3x (my nerves)but I did not get discouraged, disappointed in myself yes, but I never gave up. I paid for another class and now that I've completed this class I'm scheduled to take the exam in May. I really want to know from you just some good tips in starting my new career to success. I read your 10 steps so I'm on the right track. I'm in the gym at 7am. I look like I'm 40-45 great shape and committed to whatever I do. I live in Delaware but I would so appreciate any tips from you in getting started. Blair I know Like A Boss is a reality show but you tell that young assistant of yours he does not even realize the blessing that has been bestowed on him to be working with you. Keep up the great work and best wishes to you and Team Blair. Thanking You In Advance, Marjorie Jenkins

Message Update in May:

Hi Blair,

I touched base with you in the past letting you know of my struggles to pass the State exam after failing 3x. Well I told you I would keep you updated with my struggles and I'm proud to announce that I took the test and passed after paying 199.00 for the class the 1st time and 85.00 x3 to take the exam and failed.  I enrolled again for 199.99 and paid  85.00 for the state exam but I tell you it's all worth it because I achieved what I wanted and never gave up so now starts the grind for me and I am so excited.

Blair, thank you for your encouragement and I just want you to know that your picture is on my vision board and I speak of you all the time.

Thank You,

From a 67 year old Diva