I AM A FREAK

I've heard "You're a freak," or similar terms, said in reference to me both directly and indirectly throughout my life. As recently as two weeks ago, some guy I don't know, in any way, posted a comment on one of my Instagram photos THEN went on Twitter and sent me a tweet telling me I was a freak and he felt sorry for me.

That was two weeks ago. Several months ago, a young military man sent me a series of messages on Facebook. I've put them into a collage below for easy reference.

Clearly, the guy has some issues. So does our President.

Some people say to stay away from commenting on politics or religion. Since the election all I've done on a public platform is make some jokes here and there attempting to lighten the mood of the heavy situation that ensued post election. I can understand where the sentiment of staying away from political discussion comes from and I do not typically post things on social media or here that are political, but when our President seeks to subjugate a portion of our population whose only desire is to serve their country, then I will address it and the root cause of it.

The truly concerning part to me is that to get elected Trump tapped into an insecurity in his most vehement supporters - they're afraid of being the white, straight minority. They're threatened by those they perceive as different from them. If you're not threatened, you're not going to have a problem with someone who is different from you in some way, especially if it has no direct effect on your life. The only reason someone is critical of another person or group, speaks out against them, when all that person or group is doing is living their life, their way, without harming anyone else, is because the problem is an insecurity within the person that is expressing the criticism.

I'm not saying every Trump voter harbors these feelings or ignorance, but Trump knew that to swing the vote his way he needed to energize a voting bloc that would not sway in their support of him and the rest of his voters were more likely to just not want/like Hillary. This makes Trump (or his advisers, whomever had the idea) very smart. It also makes him a bigot making other bigots feel it's okay to openly express their hate.

And if Trump had used that to get elected, then gone about his way in doing just about nothing like most political leaders, I wouldn't have had a long term issue with it. He's not the first politician on either side of the aisle to use fear to get elected. The others have typically just moved on from that after the election. Trump hasn't. His most recent Tweet concerning transgender military members demonstrates he has no interest in moving the country forward, together, for the good of all. Instead, he seeks to divide and discriminate.

While I'm not transgender, I do believe in the personal empowerment of living your truth. That being said, I have been born and raised and continue to live in my truth as a pretty gay man often drawing comparisons by others to a Barbie doll. It doesn't bother me. Call me what you will, it doesn't define me. I define me.

A lifetime of experience in the sting of hate, bigotry and harassment brought me to that resolution to be strong in my own definition of self. I learned long ago that others judgement of me said more about them than it would ever say about me. Trump's statement is another example of a personal insecurity manifesting itself in a man who is threatened by others who are strong enough to find their truth and live it. 

However the truly dangerous part of what's been unearthed here is that the leader of our country, the world's largest superpower is perpetuating hate and ignorance, seeking to make it national policy. History proves this isn't a first when it comes to many minority populations that have come before LGBT, but it's 2017. It's time to evolve.

I understand not everyone is able to be as resolute and insightful as I have been and continue to be and I hurt for those people trying to understand, love, accept and live their truth. People like Trump don't help anyone - except themselves by temporarily bolstering their own sense of self worth. And what someone like Trump, and the internet trolls that message me, does to others is damage far worse.

To Trump and any bigot like him, I say:

I AM...

self made
STRONG like no other
independent
wealthy
HUGE hearted
loving
give selflessly
thoughtful
capable
highly intelligent
successful
beautiful inside and out
possess an insane work ethic
always evolving

And a bigger, better, more accomplished grown ass man than you will ever be. If this makes me a FREAK, then I live in my FREAKNESS, accepting and owning every part of it. And that combined with the fact that I'm so honest in who I am and how I live my life makes me AMAZING. There's nothing amazing about Trump except his ability to tap into other people's hate to get himself elected.

I don't have to be trans to support, admire and love anyone who is strong enough to live their truth and understand that we ALL have much more in common than we will ever have in contrast.   

To the two guys that went on my social media profiles and recently posted hateful comments or sent me messages I say this: Thank You. You went to all this trouble to find me across social media platforms, write comments/messages to me, about me and this means I'm important enough to you to devote your time and energy making me relevant to you. Both blocked me. Not only did this make me smile because it shows they're cowards that can't deal with the truth, but it also let me know whatever issues these guys have with me are really just a reflection of what's going on within him.

Growing up as an outcast, I learned long ago that what people say to me (or someone else) about me, whatever it is, says way more about them than it will ever say about me. So I don't internalize it and make it mine.

For those that will read this and decide they don't like me, no longer want to follow me, or find this distasteful for whatever reason, they're welcome to their opinion. I won't sweat it. I haven't come this far in life, become this strong, to assimilate at this point. If I know I'm right, I'll say so. And I know I am right, I speak the truth, on this matter. I also realize that most people don't want to take strong positions on these sorts of issues in fear of alienating those around them, so I'm not as likely to get as many likes and comments on this post as others, but that's okay because I don't do this blog for likes and comments. I do it for me, it's a public journal of sorts, but I also do it for those people that tell me they find empowerment by what I share and seek to find that same empowerment within them to live their truth.

I may not always be right, but I am evolved enough to realize when I am. I'm also confident enough in my truth to speak it and live it. Not many people can say that about themselves. Especially not Trump.

To all those strong enough to be true to themselves or working on a path to get there, find and own your freakness. Love it. There's nothing to be ashamed of in living your truth. On the contrary, there's EVERYTHING to be proud of.

With a wish and a hope for others hearts and minds to find peace and love within, B :)