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Westward Travels Gone Wrong

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I wrote this the day of my departure, but just posting it today as I've been consumed with experiencing all of California I can take in...

Westward travels began this morning under a rather bleak horizon.

Waking at 3am, not much earlier than my normal morning rise, I checked my email to find a business issue that I shouldn’t have to attend to, but unfortunately as a business owner I must. One of those situations that always end up in your lap to clean up as a business owner. That put somewhat of a delay to my departure from home, but after giving the Prius wings to fly up the highway to ATL airport while decreasing the MPG efficiency of the hybrid, I arrived right on time. To find my flight delayed.

As I check my plethora of Louis bags at the Delta counter, the check in attendant asks if Thad is with me (our tickets were booked together as always). I can’t help myself, so I reply with spite: “No sweetheart, if you’ve got a good one hold on tight because I gave that man the world and he left me two weeks ago in the middle of the damn day while I was at work.” After recovering from being temporarily speechless, he simply says he’s sorry. I’m in a mood at this point, so I continue “I am too love bug, especially for our joint bank account that he cleared out on his way out of town.” I think this Delta employee was trying to decide If I was kidding or not. I can understand confusion on this point. I mean, who does that? Douches, yes, but I wasn’t kidding and kept a straight face.

Alas, making my way to the terminal quickly and easily, I brought out my iPod and switched on music that calms me, breathing deeply and slowly taking my mind to a happy place. Only to be interrupted by two boys alternating screams and cries between them. I used to dream of marriage and kids. Years ago. Being around other people’s children is enough to effectively quash that desire. Boarding as quickly as I could, I found respite in my first class seat with a vacant seat beside me… which was purchased for Thad. At least I have a nice place for my new Louis backpack, right?

Wrong. A gate attendant whizzes by, stopping quickly to ask if the person for the seat beside me is coming. To which I reply: “This seat was for my other half… who left me a couple weeks ago. And he asks, I suppose for clarification even though I would think the answer provided is enough: “So, he’s not coming?” What can I say to that? I quickly consider my options - I could say that I lost him to some sort of terminal illness and perhaps this would end the questions? Or I could say he committed suicide. I mean, when I left that morning kissing him goodbye I had no idea that I wouldn’t be coming home to him that night so it’s kinda like he killed himself off from my life, but still in my mood at this point I went with: "Uh no boo, he’s probably off lifting a massive amount of weight in a gym somewhere or shaving his back." The look on the gate attendants face was, needless to say, priceless.

After he walked away, it occurred to me that they had mentioned this wasn’t the intended aircraft for this flight, our ticketed seats may not be where we end up and they were hastily making arrangements to assure everyone could be accommodated. So I asked myself, they wouldn’t stick someone else in this seat after I paid $1248 for it, right?

Wrong again. Within a few minutes, a pleasant enough looking man appeared. Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t one of the Hemsworth boys or an underwear model or even a therapist to help me work through this rather challenging day thus far. It was a middle aged man with graying hair, short and stout, but with a smile on his face. To which I am quite certain I returned with a look of disdain. A few minutes passed and I thought to myself I hadn’t been kind to this man and it wasn’t his fault that my roided up ex is an ahole, so I took my headphones off and explained that I likely gave him an unkind look and asked him to understand it wasn’t him, but rather the douche that has to take Cialis at 26 because of steroid use that was supposed to be sitting in that seat. He was nice enough and said he would understand if I gave him the evil eye. So, ya know, at least my seat mate is turning out alright on this trip from a hot place down below.

As if the universe is sending me a message to never have children, one I’ve received clearly at this point, just as I’m sinking down into my plush first class seat I hear a young boy clucking about finding where all the flotation devices are “just in case I need them.” Finding this humorous, it does occur to me that with this day, the way it’s been so far, I can’t quite know what to expect on this flight. What I didn’t expect was swift kicks to the back of my seat by this little nugget of joy - who I’m pretty sure would benefit from ADD medication while I wonder if I brought any Xanax that I can grind up quickly and slip into his apple juice. Perhaps that would knock him out the entire flight and bring about some peace for this blonde head of mine.

His parent or guardian is seated right next to him. I can say that if I had children they would likely be quite rebellious in the end because they would only speak when spoken to by an adult and they wouldn’t be kicking anything except a ball on a field - I would make sure of that. His adult companion does absolutely nothing. Attempting to think of this as a form of Shiatsu massage, I have one of those “Calgon take me away” moments. Only this isn’t the 80’s, I’m not in a bathtub and I wonder if Calgon is even a brand anymore? I’ll have to google that later - because the wifi isn’t working on this flight. Love you too GoGo InFlight Internet!

Asking the flight attendant if there are any of those peanuts lurking around the cabin since Delta discontinued offering them due to peanut allergies… yet they still offer almonds and how many people REALLY have a peanut specific allergy anyway? It seems an awful lot like the whole gluten free trend where not many people are truly allergic to gluten, but more so jumping on the latest fad bandwagon. It reminds me of different diets over the years like “the grapefruit diet, the blood type diet, or best yet my own personal favorite - “the cake diet” where you eat nothing but cake. But no, he replies that with so many people allergic to peanuts, they no longer have them on the plane anywhere. I have already googled those in pursuit of the peanut promised land. I loved that Squirrel brand. They were a bit crunchier… and the cruelty of it all - they don’t even sell them on their site! Perhaps I can track down the squirrel that collects and roasts them somewhere in the San Francisco Bay area?

Off in pursuit of honey roasted peanuts, wind in my hair via top down driving and scenic highways, I make my way to Hertz where my travel agent has arranged for a Corvette convertible as my way around the Bay Area for the week. After about an hour in line, I find my rental car and a trunk that hardly even qualifies for the term, make my way past a very rude Hertz gate attendant that literally uses his hand to cast me be gone while he says "next" after I ask him a question, I find solace and peace driving the windy roadway through the mountain making my way to the coastline.

The Ritz doesn't have my room ready, so I go to the local grocery store, pick up a few things and come back to find a room, literally a room. What's the problem you ask? I always screen capture and send pics of exactly what I want at a property with the exact description to my travel agent... to avoid confusion. My travel agent just missed the key words - luxury oceanfront suite - when she booked it.

So, here I am, in a tiny room that looks onto a golf course having trekked across the entire country when I didn't want to come at this point anyway and nearly ready to have a breakdown I call the front desk. The Ritz peeps are used to high maintenance drama queens by this point and although I'm usually low maintenance, independent and chill, I explain what I've gone through in the past few weeks and the woman says none of my desired rooms are available, but there is a suite away from the hotel in the cottages. At this point, I just want a bigger space so lay it on me.

This isn't quite what I wanted, isn't what I pictured, but ya know it's pretty luxurious nonetheless so I'll make the best of it just as I make the best of my other half leaving me by using it as an opportunity to reflect, learn and grow. Which is exactly why I embarked on this cross country journey... So here goes

I'll keep you updated on my journey, B :)

Nancy Shuster on 6 years ago
How in the world did I miss the fact that the idiot left the best thing he could ever find? Lesson learned: NO JOINT BANK ACCOUNT...maybe not even after marriage. Great post....would read any book you would write, but I think that this is a great start of a novel. Honestly! Now, you just have to turn it into a romance novel about how you met your soul mate in CA, but the steroid Queen came back to CA to find you and you sent him on his way and end up walking off into the sunset with Mr. Wonderful.....with a few other twists in between. :-)
Dru Meyers on 6 years ago
Love the blog. Hate the circumstances of this one though. I swear some people just don't know when they have the best thing in front of them.
Love this post.....and Thad is a douche bagg. Dont be so trusting my dear, partners love to stab in the back. I've had my share.
Connie Wolfe Beck on 6 years ago
You are young, strong, passionate, loving, beautiful inside and out. Stay focused on the present and not the past. Hold on to hope and new feelings of peace.
Heyward Young on 6 years ago
Well if ya decide to leave Real Estate you have a future as an Author �
Trenda Carlisle on 6 years ago
Please write a novel...I will order dozens! But seriously...Hugs You Are Amazing
Rob Schwitz on 6 years ago
You paint a vivid picture with your words. I hope you are having a relaxing vacation. (And you got a great deal for $1,248 roundtrip First Class from Georgia to California.)
Russell Bryant on 6 years ago
I just love you to pieces!!
Sarah Lowe on 6 years ago
Love your blogs, Blair! Love you!
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